A Doula I am

I completed the ToLabor Doula Training this past weekend and walked away with a profoundly different understanding of who I am, how my own births were, and how every pregnancy and birth should be for all women. I entered the class not really even knowing what a Doula was, much less whether I truly wanted to be one. I actually went into the workshop with the intention of using the knowledge gained towards becoming a birth educator. I still plan on becoming a birth educator. However, since I didn't really understand the whole role a Doula plays in labor and birth, I had no preconceived notions of what a Doula is or is not. In my mind, I thought a Doula was just a woman present during birth. I've read the research that suggests that the simple presence of a woman at another woman's birth helps to create a positive birth outcome. I questioned whether I needed a Doula during my own births, but because I planned on homebirth with Midwives, I assumed I didn't need one.  How wrong I was!

A Doula (pronounced Doo-la) is a term from the Greek language meaning a "woman who serves." They support mothers and their families through the emotional and physical challenges and joys of childbearing. Doulas provide non-medical support and they are the only care providers whose responsibility is to support a laboring woman exclusively and continuously. Studies show that doctors are present only 5% of the time, and nurses only 20-25% of the time, however, labor assistants or birth Doulas provide constant care throughout a woman's entire birth experience.

The experienced, loving support of sisters, mothers, aunts, and friends has diminished as births have moved into the hospital, and under the medical practice of OB/GYNs. Most women do not share or participate in a birth until they experience their own. This is where Doulas come in. Doulas understand the complexities of birth, work to ease the fears and anxieties of the unknown, and can instill confidence and trust in a woman and her body. Doulas work with the mother and her partner by providing useful comfort techniques for the mother that incorporate the help of the partner. Doulas also help facilitate communication with the labor care team.

Randomized controlled trials demonstrate that the presence of a Doula is also associated with:

• Reduced cesarean rates
• Fewer forceps/vacuum deliveries
• Less requests for epidurals
• Shorter labor
• Reduced use of Pitocin/Oxytocin
• Lower rates of newborn complications
• Increased success with breastfeeding
• Reduction in postpartum depression
• Increased maternal satisfaction

Doulas use a wide variety of pain-management techniques to help women feel more safe and comfortable, including:

• Massage
• Acupressure
• Positioning for mother’s comfort and to relieve/avoid back labor
• Shower/bath
• Birth ball
• Hot and cold compresses
• Guided imagery/visualizations
• Aromatherapy

What Doulas do not do:

• Perform clinical tasks, such as blood pressure, fetal heart checks, vaginal exams.
• Make decisions for the mother.
• Speak on behalf of the mother to the medical staff or primary care providers regarding decision matters.

Before this remarkable workshop was complete, I realized that every woman should have the right to have a Doula, and that Doulas should be made available by all hospitals. Our maternity care system in the United States is a topic all its own, but one simple change to help support positive birth outcomes would be to have Doulas on call in all hospitals and birth centers.

My certification process has just begun, but I am looking forward to working through it.

The Hunter's Moon, and Other Random Thoughts

The Hunter's Moon on Monday seemed to dredge up all sorts of emotional turbulence within me, as well as others I interacted with. My day began with co-worker conflict, and ended in an endless stream of griping and bitching erupting from my brain and mouth. Finally, in sheer desperation for the stream of words flowing forth from my mouth to end, I shut up. I just quit.

However, gems of wonder were to be found amidst all the rapids. My daughter discovered a fun and creative way to make letters from the mail...she started by making an A and then a W, and then a Y, which progressed into words like MAX, WAX, EAT, which then progressed into finding other object with which to make the letters such as pencils, our Halloween spoon witches, spoons, pens, the fly-swatter. It was a lot of fun to watch and encourage.

My brain has been literally swirling with thoughts regarding learning without school, parenting, relationships, life’s typical challenges, the weather, finances, conflicts at work, my career, worries about others, opinions about everything, and on and on and on.

Often it seems, life’s daily flow travels along easily and fluidly and my focus is on each present moment. And then there are those times when all the various things that make up this life are swarming around me like bees hunting for a new hive and it’s impossible to focus on any one thing as they are demanding my attention. Now seems to be one of those times.

Perhaps I just need a quiet spot to reflect upon things, and calm my busy mind...

On the plus side, however, I've had the opportunity to read some inspiring articles on learning lately, and feel aware and responsive to how we are approaching this new journey in our life. It's quotes like this, from John Holt, that really just hone it all in:

"It's not that I feel that school is a good idea gone wrong, but a wrong idea from the word go. It's a nutty notion that we can have a place where nothing but learning happens, cut off from the rest of life."
~John Holt

I've even taken the leap to really sharing my understanding of this approach with those who most need it, namely my Mother and my In-Laws, who are the most supportive bunch of folks I've encountered recently, and who really need to be on the same page as me since they are primary caregivers to my kids. By sharing Naomi Aldort's amazing, and pretty much mind-blowing CD set, Trusting Our Children, Trusting Ourselves, with my Mom, among others, I am hopeful that my kids will have even more support from their loving grandparents, who are also learning about this new idea for our family.  In a family of many PhDs, the concept of homeschooling, and especially without a curriculum and "schoolwork" is a novel concept.

"What children need is not new and better curricula but access to more and more of the real world; plenty of time and space to think over their experiences, and to use fantasy and play to make meaning out of them; and advice, road maps, guidebooks, to make it easier for them to get where they want to go (not where we think they ought to go), and to find out what they want to find out."
~John Holt, Teach Your Own

Parenting is probably the most challenging (and possibly unanticipated) aspect to many peoples' lives, and being with our children all day and not relying on others to entertain them, "teach" them, take care of them, "endure" them, etc. has become an important aspect of learning without school, at least in my own eyes. I'm the kind of person that constantly seeks out and eats up as much information as I possibly can so that I can become the very best parent that I can possibly be. I believe that kids thrive in an environment without shame, humiliation, punishment, invoked consequences, rewards, time-outs, and all those other negative "traditional" discipline techniques. Changing myself has become a daily affair, and I work at it really hard. Respecting my kids for who they are is essential. I've included a little snippet of inspiration I found this week, as well: How to Raise a Respected Child, by Sandra Dodd.

Onward!

It's Official - We Really are Unschoolers

And it's truly no surprise. Being Evergreen Alumni and having non-standard views on parenting, learning, and life, this path seems to have flowed seamlessly into our lives.

I've added a list of Unschooling sites down below for my own sake as well as for those who might be interested in what the whole idea of unschooling is.

In pulling my daughter out of school, I've already had many people ask me, "why would you take your kid out of school when the schools in Los Alamos are so good?"

To start with, we just happen to have a child who is not willing to be coerced into a situation she is uncomfortable with, and the situation she was most uncomfortable with was school. If she were like most other kids, we may never have found ourselves in this part of the world. But in many ways I can be thankful that she is different and that we can embark upon this journey of something radical and adventurous. And what an interesting journey it shall be...

Besides, are Los Alamos schools really so good? I went to Los Alamos schools 20+ years ago, and sure I had a good teacher or two. But I don't think I began any real passionate learning until I got to college. I mostly just cruised it, and did what I needed to do to get through the day to day.

LA Schools at this point seemed to have fallen under the spell of testing and more testing, homework and more homework.

I think John Holt said it best:

"What children need is not new and better curricula but access to more and more of the real world; plenty of time and space to think over their experiences, and to use fantasy and play to make meaning out of them; and advice, road maps, guidebooks, to make it easier for them to get where they want to go (not where we think they ought to go), and to find out what they want to find out."
—John Holt, Teach Your Own

Summer Nettles

Summer has arrived.
We've had a most unusual June, here in Los Alamos, with much more rain than usual, and some very chilly days. June is generally the hottest, driest month, so all this moisture and cool temps have been quite a surprise. The plants and trees must be soaking up every ounce of the water. Nettles that were a mere few inches off the ground a couple weeks ago, are nearly towering over my head! The grasses too have completely taken off. My native grass front yard looks greener than it ever has, and all grasses must be flowering profusely as I've been more allergized in recent days than I can remember...back to those nettles!

Nettles can be useful for allergy relief and they boast significant amounts of chlorophyll, protein, ascorbic acid, calcium, magnesium, Vitamin K1, potassium and zinc. These nutrients are considered to promote healthy skin, bones and joints and encourage a healthy immune and respiratory system. Nettle leaf contains flavonoids such as quercitin, kaempferol, and rutin that help to maintain healthy levels of histamine in the body. Histamine release is associated with allergic reactions, where tissues become damaged and inflamed. Further, nettle leaf extract promotes the healthy modulation of prostaglandins, leukotrienes, and cytokines- which are components associated with normal immune function.

I am a sucker for stinging nettles. When I see a patch I get all giggley in my tummy and feel like jumping up and down and shouting for joy. Los Alamos Canyon is ripe with nettles right now, and during a run up the canyon yesterday I simply couldn't help myself and had to stop and commune with one of the large patches growing up alongside the stream bed. I plucked a lovely leaf, folded it upon itself and chewed it up as my friend Susan had taught me a decade and a half ago. The flavor was pure green, with hints of minerals and vitamins. My thumb and forefinger were numb for the rest of the run, and every time I felt the numbness my heart swelled with joy for this lovely soul-sister plant. Now, if I can just convince my daughters to come watch me harvest this bounty!

The natives of the Olympic Peninsula used nettles for medicine, charms, and rituals. In order to stay awake through the night, the Quileute would rub nettles over the body prior to heading out on seal hunts. The Makah would use nettles to purify their bodies and to toughen their skin before heading out on whale hunts. I've always found those uses intriguing. My husband once thrashed himself with Nettles prior to driving 18 hours straight, and said it worked quite well for staying awake through the night.

Nettles are also a delicious green that can be cooked like spinach. Sautee the fresh leaves with garlic and butter and dash of soy for a nutritious green...Bon Appetit!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
References:
Gunther, E. and J. Janish. Ethnobotany of Western Washington. 1973; 78.

Klingelhoefer S, et al. Antirheumatic effect of IDS 23, a stinging nettle leaf extract, on in vitro expression of T helper cytokines. J. Rheumatol. 1999; 26(12): 2517-2522.

Mittman P. Randomized, double-blind study of freeze dried urtica dioica in the treatment of allergic rhinitis. Planta Medica. 1990;56:44-47.

Image copyright David Beaulieu